1. caffeine free, raspberry ginger ale

2. hot baths

3. the scent of lavendar

4. our christmas tree (the prettiest tree ever)

5. clean kitchen counters

lots has happened since my last post… the little one tried to escape on thursday which lead me to the hospital. i was uncomfortable all day and finally around six i couldnt take it anymore and called my midwife. i told her what was going on and she told me to get in the car and go to the hospital immediately. upon arrival i was hooked up to a monitor and after 30 or so minutes we were informed i was going into preterm labor. my contractions were 5 minutes apart! so the doctor gave me a shot to stop the contractions, did another ultrasound to be sure the baby was ok, and then monitored us some more. i was finally given the ok to go home around ten. since that night i have been on mandatory bed rest or house arrest as i call it. which means no work, nothing strenuous, nothing stressful, and basically laying horizontal unless im on a bathroom break. the contractions are still occurring but they range from 1-2 hours apart to 30 mins apart. they are not painful unless im up and walking around when they happen. i have two things i am taking to “quiet” my uterus so they stop. we are good to go with the planned home birth on the 16th, so he/she has to just hold off until then.

i am overwhelmed by the constant rush of emotions, thoughts and then exhaustion over the simple fact that this precious thing that has been growing inside of me for 35 weeks and 2 days could come any day now and very well just might. recently i’ve been informed of two pieces of news which have me bewildered. my iron is very low, in fact so low that if i don’t raise it to an 11 by the time the baby comes i will have to do the thing i dread the most… have the baby in a hospital. why?… im anemic AND a picky eater… a great combo for someone in my situation. secondly, i am, apparently, showing signs of early labor and the cause… stress. the combination of the two makes for a great situation. i have to raise my iron and possibly have a very short time to do so. i am now on a high iron diet which consists of 4 tablespoons of molasses a day and spinach. did i mention im a picky eater and can’t stand spinach? well too bad says my husband, too bad. so tonight i will mix some spinach in with my caesar salad, being sure to use too much caesar dressing so as to cover up any hints of spinach taste. after the salad i will enjoy not 1 but 2 glasses of hot tea with molasses. after 2 weeks of molasses and tea i have finally found a tea with a strong enough taste to overpower the molasses taste. thank you black cherry zinger and thank you again for being caffeine free. the hot tea does make my stress level go down, but not as much as a midday nap would, unfortunately i take what i can get. people ask, why is your stress level high? well not only do i feel as if my belly could bust open at any moment, but i own my own business. my midwife keeps asking me, “cant you get away for a 1-2 hours mid day and take a nap,” no, i don’t have the luxury. it takes 3 people to keep things running smoothly and when 1 person isnt pulling their own weight and doing their part, then things go hay wire. so i have started listening to soft, calming music (think cat power, joni mitchell, and sounds from nature) at my desk and trying to remain calm when things miss their deadlines. its a constant battle, but i feel like i am somewhat making progress, but then other things begin to enter my brain and i feel as if there just isnt enough time to do all there is left to do.

the nursery is still a guest room, well, perhaps storage room would be a better name. i spent sunday organizing things into corners of the room. some things are to go to storage, others are trash, a few to craigslist and then theres the baby corner. its filled with boxes of gifts not yet assembled or unpacked, clothes still with tags, and an assortment of blankets, toys, and knick knacks which will decorate the room. the crib should arrive any day now and it will have to be assembled. i wish i was i dream of jeanie and could pop my arms and eyes and the room would be painted and set up. the thing im looking forward to the most is hanging all the little clothes on tiny little hangers and folding all the little blankets and non-hanging things and putting them away on little shelves and into adorable little baskets. the feeling of accomplishment when that happens might just be so euphoric it sends me into labor. i just pray the little ones doesnt come until the its room is finished. i will certainly feel like a terrible mother if that should happen.

here are some nurseries i LOVE:

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-no-grey-skies-for-mallory-gray-097144

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/mini-tour-chloes-restful-vintage-space-095353

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/mini-nursery-tour-charley-maes-modern-eclectic-095040

(not quite a nursery, but adorable girls room) http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-ashley-089192

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-mias-alluring-modern-loft-088638

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-kenzies-084661

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/my-room-lila-sage-san-francisco-082953

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-tessa-089859

we have gotten into the routine of playing music into the the baby belly. little ones reacts and kicks extra hard during paul simon, bob marley, and coltrane. i played a lot of pink floyd in the beginning, but not so much recently. we havent gotten much of a reaction to creedence or radiohead. i want to get some crosby stills and nash on the ipod and see what he/she thinks of them.

im looking forward to taking the baby on some adventures. ive always wanted to travel for 1 year without a home base. just living in an rv or vw bus or something similar and just taking life in with no obligations other than to observe and learn and grow daily. i think it will be all the more enjoyable to do so with a little one in tow, discovering for the first time all of life’s wonders.

http://www.babygadget.net/2006/10/rock_a_bye_baby_in_this_sweet.php

toggle:

1 : a piece or device for holding or securing: as a : a pin inserted in a nautical knot to make it more secure or easier to slip b : a crosspiece attached to the end of or to a loop in something (as a chain, rope, line, strap, or belt) usually to prevent slipping, to serve in twisting or tightening, or to hold something attached
2 : a device consisting of two bars jointed together end to end but not in line so that when a force is applied to the joint tending to straighten it pressure will be exerted on the parts adjacent or fixed to the outer ends of the bars; also : a device with a joint using a toggle

i like toggles and saying the word toggle.

it makes me happy.

you should try it.

solitude:

Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. One feels that something is missing. It is possible to be with people and still feel lonely—perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness.

Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.

Solitude is a time that can be used for reflection, inner searching or growth or enjoyment of some kind. Deep reading requires solitude, so does experiencing the beauty of nature.

touch me, im going to scream pt 2

interview

phone went west

anytime

msg-nye: celebration>get down on it

solid walls of sound

Bennie & the Jets, Elton John

buried in sound

Handshake Drugs, Wilco

sound of silence

Sound of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel

But above all, watch, with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places
-Roald Dahl