i can see clearly… from the road

about two weeks ago we delivered 5000 tshirts to washington, dc for the inaulguration. we had thought and planned to have the blank shirts on a friday, print them all weekend, leave denver on monday and allow for a few extra days to drive to savannah to empty out my storage unit. well… we didnt get the blanks until monday and therefore couldnt leave until wednesday and because our engagement party was that saturday we did the drive in 3.5 days– straight! this meant we drove a little over 3300 miles in less than four days and this also meant sleeping and driving in shifts. but what this also meant was that i would be in washington, dc and have the opportunity to see, speak and visit with my step father, who i hadnt seen since 1996 when he and my mother divorced. this alone was reason enough for me to make this trip… the money we were paid to deliver the shirts didnt hurt either.

during the drive i was given ample time for reflection. driving late at night with just me, the open [sometimes frozen] road, my racing mind and music really opened up some things for me.

my first driving shift was from midnight until about 7am.  tripp had loaded up his new ipod with a plethora of tuneage for our drive. i saw my shift as the perfect time to review the entire my morning jacket discography (the only albums missing from the ipod were z and the tennessee fire, both of which i am familiar with an a fan of). there’s really nothing sweeter than jim james and the open road, at least not for me. maybe the grateful dead’s europe ‘72 and tom petty’s highway companion + california’s highway one, but regardless i was in heaven.

at first, i thought it would just be good driving music and help the late night shift go a bit faster by singing along to most every song. but i discovered was my real reasons for not liking their newest album, evil urges, quite as much as all the other albums. listening to evil urges when it first came out (maybe a few motnhs before) i was somewhat unsettled by what i heard. sure i loved touch me im going to scream part two, but who doesnt like a rockin’ song like that? it wasnt until my 20 or 30th listen that i made the official decision that evil urges just didnt sit right with me, but i couldnt pin point “why” it didnt sit right. around hour four it of my drive it finally hit me… i dont like evil urges because its not filled with the haunting, eerily beautiful sound that makes my heart ache and shine, which all their previous albums have the power to do. evil urges is on a different level, a level i just dont love. all of their other albums have this ghostly aspect to most every song that really stirs and satisfies my soul. i’ve come to the following conclusions: 1. i dont recommend listening to at dawn while driving late at night, it makes the eye lids heavy. something that’s obviously NOT good if your driving and 2. it still moves is their best album both lyrically and musically. its quality and solid from start to finish.

we decided to take interstate 80, rather than 70, so we could avoid the driving through kansas aka the most miserable state to drive across in the entire united states. something we didnt not however consider was that its january which means ice and snow and road conditions that are not the pleasant to drive. switching between the ipod and whatever radio stations were worthwhile we kept up with temperatures and weather systems.while driving through illinois we learned that the high for the day was 1 degree and the windchill was negative 31. im really not quite sure why anyone would live in illinois in the winter, it really seems like cruel and unusual punishment. i definitely have a new found respect for people who, but at the same time i think they should all have a mental evaluation for voluntarily living in such a harsh climate when it comes to the winter time. iowa is like a frozen tundra. driving through 80 in iowa we had just missed a snow storm that dumped a little over ten inches. never in my life have i seen so many abandoned cars, crashed cars, and cars covered with snow on the interstate. im talking cars crashed into the median that were simply left. cars that after being abandoned were then covered with snow from the snow plow trucks clearly the road. again, why put yourself through such difficult winters? yes, i do live in colorado, but the sun comes out everyday and if its snowed the snow melts away– and we have the mountains, which alone make living through the winters here worth it.

after dropping off the shirts in dc i took a deep breath and called the number my mother gave me for my step father. we had spoken two years prior, but had not been face to face in over a decade. he answered and immediately told me i must come to his house. tripp and i were already in the neighborhood, took the necessary turns and within minutes i we were parked in front of his beautiful house. our embrace was a sweet and sincere one. the hug felt so good it was hard to let go. people say you cant go home again, but that hug felt more like home then id felt in years and years. we all sat down in the study and talked like not a day had passed since we last saw one another. he has a daughter, she’s three and the spitting image of him. he wasnt married. he was doing well. and most importantly was absolutely thrilled to see me. he insisted we stay the night and after the drive we had had i didnt argue. turns out hes become quite the art collector and his new “thing” is printed art, just like what tripp does. he showed us the 33 pieces he had just brought from china and had framed. when he said the number 33 tripp and i both locked eyes, as the number three is tripps favorite number as he is a “third” hence the nickname “tripp” for triplet, 33 is the age jesus was when he died, and the day tripp decided i was “the one” i was wearing my favorite tshirt, which has the number 33 on the front and the back. i dont believe in coincidences, i believe things happen for a reason yet feel like a coincidence. im not yet sure of the meaning of my step dad having 33 prints, but the muddy water will clear one day and i will know the meaning. tripp isnt one to feel comfortable around parent types at all, but he told me that he felt that he and my stepdad were totally on the same wave length and completely in tune; which means a lot to me. he has always and will always want only the best for me in life. he told me he plans to model his daughter’s education after the education i had, thanks to him. he told me he wants me to think of her as my sister! this truly brought tears to my eyes. ive yet to meet this bundle of joy, but i cant wait to shower her with all the love in the world. i got a tour of his amazing home, which was like stepping through a time machine, as i saw furniture i remembered from our old house scattered about. when we walked pass a glass bookshelf and i saw his glass collection (drinking glasses) i really teared up. i remember our old kitchen and all of these beautiful, handmade, one of a kind glasses that lined the back counters of the entire kitchen. i remember coming home from school and picking out which glass i wanted to drink from. i held those glasses in my hands, trying hard to hold back the tears, but it was useless and i cried, a good “i am home” cry. ive never felt so much emotion of an object as i did at that moment. we visited awhile longer until he was ready to go to bed. then tripp and i took a walk through georgetown to my favorite restaurant, a place i had eaten at more times than i have fingers and toes during the years when i spent my vacations and weekends home from boarding school in dc. after dinner we walked back to his house and curled up in our bed for the night. it was good to be home.