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dearest readers, i am over joyed to inform you all that my amazing husband and i will be welcoming something special into the world in late janurary of next year! we hadnt planned to start “trying” until our crazy summer was over (sometime in september), but as it turns out we didnt have to try at all. we have known since memorial day, but kept the big news under wraps until the right time. i am now ten weeks pregnant and already feeling the changes to my body, my mood, and my eating habits. i will be doing an all natural, at home, water birth. we’ve already met twice with our wonderful midwife and i feel so confident that we have made the right choice for our birthing method.

some facts about water births…

benefits to me:

  • Most women find a tub of warm water relaxing and comfortable, helping feelings of fear and stress to disappear. This relaxed state of the body encourages the release of pain relieving endorphins. When the mother is not anxious, her body is not apt to produce stress hormones such as adrenaline, noradrenaline, or catecholamines. These hormones stimulate the body’s fight-or-flight reaction, something not desired during labor. The hormones are stimulated when people feel the need to protect themselves, such as in a fight
  • This relaxation along with the water exposure, allows the perenium to gently stretch, thus reduces the incidence of tearing
  • It has been proved that blood pressure drops about fifteen minutes after entering a hot tub
  • The effect of warm water is known to help women to concentrate better, making the birth easier on mother and baby
  • Warm water stimulates the release of hormones that encourage contractions
  • Many research studies have corroborated the fact that women using water for childbirth request less or no methods of pain relief

benefits to the little one:

  • A relaxed mother will give birth to a relaxed baby, because the baby can feel all of the mother’s emotions during labor
  • The first moments after the birth are a lot easier on your baby as he/she is used to be surrounded by water in the womb
  • Light and sound will be softer on the baby’s little eyes and ears from under water
  • Giving birth in water, coupled with the relaxed, calm environment typical of a water birth, provides a soothing transition from the womb to the outside world. Their eyes are not subjected to harsh overhead lights, medicinal scents and the clutter and clanging of hospital equipment. Instead, they are allowed to acclimate at their own pace
  • Studies have shown that babies born naturally are more alert then babies born from medicated mothers
  • There is less chance of damage to baby’s brain due to drugs or misused forceps or vacuum
  • Babies are more coordinated
  • Babies are less fussy
  • Babies born to non medicated mothers are able to bond more easily with their mother’s and like wise
  • There is no risk of long term effects from the drugs on the baby’s development or behavior such as ADHD or autism, or other learning disabilities

People have been asking me “is it safe?” well… it is completely safe for the baby, because he/she will only start to breath after entering cool air, making drowning impossible. The baby will also be supplied with oxygen from the umbilical cord. The umbilical cord will be cut anywhere between 30 mins to an hour and a half after entering the world– it will only be cut once it stops pulsating (a signal that the little one is successfully breathing oxygen on its on). Hospitals cut the umbilical cord immediately, five or ten minutes about entering the world (which causes jaundice)!

Recently the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) in the United Kingdom issued guidelines that giving birth in water is the most effective non-pharmaceutical form of pain relief for childbirth which has no negative side effects and should be offered to all women giving birth.

Television and movies have turned child birth into a dramatic, painful, and over all traumatic experience, when in fact it is the most empowering moment of a woman’s life. I have spoken to quite a few women recently who have choos natural births and the words I hear over and over again are euphoric and orgasmic. Our baby will be welcomed into the world, as I lift it out of the water to grasp its first breathe, gently, rather than traumatically, into the world as my husband and I look down whispering words of love into its ears for its very first sounds.

“Some people do not have to search, for they find their niche early in life and rest there seemingly contented and resigned. At times, I envy them but usually I do not understand them… And seldom do they understand me. I am one of those searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we completely content. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach; we are drawn to the ocean, taken by its power and unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests, mountains, deserts, hidden rivers, and lovely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as our laughter. We are ambitious only for life itself and for anything beautiful it can provide. Most of all, we want to love and be loved, to live in a relationship that will not impede our wanderings and prevent our search. We do not want to prove ourselves to others or compete for love. This passage is for wanderers, dreamers, and lovers who dare to ask of life everything which is good and beautiful.”

- Author Unknown

The road is long and windy like a good mystery unfolding
It twists and turns in colorful subplots and sunburns and fake out endings
And sometimes my patience in the whole process starts bending

As I attempt to unravel the web by traversing and rehearsing and perversing along the doubt-laden extension chord thread of my life

And in this life we’re free to dream whatever we want to
But that doesn’t mean that your dreams are gonna come true
Instead as a way of getting us to move
Life dangles your dreams in front of you
And unable to resist the temptation, we continue

And it’s clear to me that this life is gonna be
All about the dangling possibilities that keep turning in and turning out
Yes it’s clear to me that this life is gonna be
All about the dangling possibilities

The road is long and windy
Full of twists and turns
But before you can rise from the ashes
You’ve got to burn baby burn

Welcome to your barbeque
Where we roast all the dreams
That never came true
Welcome to your barbeque
Pig out and dream a new

-ALO, BBQ

We are headed to Moab, Utah tomorrow morning for a weekend out of the city.

There’s not much I like more than a road trip with good people, except maybe a road trip out of the country. We are going to the Desert Rocks music festival, which means we are camping. I love waking up in my tent, I love sleeping in my sleeping bag, and I love festivals because it means we can get as crazy as we want and its fine because no one has to drive and no one has to be at work the next morning.

Cheers to road trips with the windows rolled down and hair blowing in the wind. Its the feeling of freedom and I like that.

pretty things, that make me smile:

flags

Tibetan Prayer flags blowing in the wind… A prayer flag is a colorful panel or rectangular cloth often found strung along mountain ridges and peaks high in the Himalayas to bless the surrounding countryside or for other purposes. Unknown in other branches of Buddhism, prayer flags are believed to have originated with Bön, which predated Buddhism in Tibet. Traditionally they are woodblock-printed with texts and images… we have some hanging on our back porch, but I want more, because they make me happy.

franti

The lyrics to Yes, I will… because I do believe  that what you sing to the clouds will rain upon you when your sun, has gone away. And I believe, that what you dream to the moon will manifest, before you rest, another day. So stay strong, and sleep long when you need to let the mornin’ take you right on through the day And when you find you’re at the end of the road just lift your head up spread your wings and fly away. Franti is the man and he can ask me 1000 times “How I’m Feeling” and I’ll still answer.

garden state

Garden State… I honestly don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times I have watched the movie and its good every, single, solitary time. I enjoy it because its life, real life,  “and sometimes it fuckin’ hurts, but it’s sort of all we have.” I can’t believe it came out in 2004, it seems so long ago.

pgroove

Perpetual Groove… if you haven’t seen them, go see them, you can thank me later… and you will.

RRE guy

This guy from Railroad Earth… when he plays he smiles and he has an amazing smile. Not to mention, Railroad Earth is amazing. I saw them first in a late night festival slot. I decided against raging electronic music and made my way to the stage where RRE was playing. It was magical. They played Black Bear and I felt like I was floating, along with the others in the crowd, to this amazing song. I love their music and their lyrics. They are a combination of bluegrass/jamgrass/celtic melodies. I used the word “amazing” to describe them, because they are. Hopefully I got my point across.

IMG_0111

Blublockers… Guarantee that you look “cool”  (thanks Chad!)

dismiss whatever insults your own soul
Walt Whitman… a portion of the preface to Leaves of the Grass was sent to me by a dear, dear friend. Hand written on the inside of a beautiful card, it still hangs on my refrigerator, as a constant reminder of their knowledge it holds:

This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul; and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.


listen to railroad earth, your soul will thank you.

warm up…

I used to go out to parties and stand around
‘Cause I was too nervous to really get down
But my body yearned to be free
I got up on the floor, boy
so somebody could choose me.

No more standin’ there beside the walls
I have got myself together, baby
I’m havin’ a ball

Long as you’re groovin’
There’s always a chance
Somebody watchin’ might wanna make romance

Move your body, ooo baby,
And dance all night
Do that grooving’
Feel all right

Everybody’s groovin’ on like a fool
But if you see me spread out and let me in
Baby just party high and low
Let me step into your erotic zone

Move it up
Turn it down
Shake it down

OOWWWW

You can love me when you want to babe
This is such a groovy party baby
We’re here face to face
Everybody’s swingin’
This is such a groovy place

All the young ladies are so fine!

You’re movin your body easy with no doubt
Know what you thinkin’ baby
You want to turn me out
Think I’m gonna let you do it babe

Keep on dancin’
You got to get it
Got to give it up
-marvin gaye, got to give it up

reminisce…


The camera pans the cocktail glass,
Behind a blind of plastic plants;
I found the lady with the fat diamond ring.
Then you know I cant remember a damn thing.
I think its one of those de ja vu things,
Or a dream thats tryin to tell me something.
Or will I ever stop thinkin about it.
I dont know, I doubt it.
Subterranean by design,
I wonder what I would find if I met you,
Let my eyes caress you,
Until I meet the thought of missess princess who?
Often wonder what makes her work.
I guess Ill leave that question to the experts,
Assuming that there are some out there.
Theyre probably alone, solitaire.
I can remember when I caught up
With a pastime intimate friend.
She said, bet youre probably gonna say I look lovely,
But you probably dont think nothin of me.
She was right, though, I cant lie.
Shes just one of those corners in my mind,
And I just put her right back with the rest.
Thats the way it goes, I guess.

Baby you send me
Set adrift on memory bliss of you

Careless whisper from a careless man,
A neutron dance for a neutron fan;
Marionette strings are dangerous things,
I thought of all the trouble they bring.
An eye for an eye, a spy for a spy,
Rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh.
Tell me that shes not dreaming.
Shes got an ace in the hole,
It doesnt have meaning.
Reality used to be a friend of mine,
cause complete control, I dont take too kind.
Christina applegate, you gotta put me on.
Guess whos piece of the cake is jack gone?
She broke her wishbone and wished for a sign.
I told her whispers in my heart were fine.
What did she think she could do?
I feel for her, I really do.
And I stared at the ring finger on her hand,
I wanted her to be a big pm dawn fan,
But I had to put her right back with the rest.
Thats the way it goes, I guess.
-pm dawn, set adrift on a memory bliss

roller skate…


I looked at you
You stole my heart
You were all that I anticipated
I wanted you — Every part but I knew that love would be complicated
I began to touch — But you wouldnt let it
It never seemed to be the right time
I started to give up — down to the limit
And then you changed your mind

Chorus
And we begin to rock steady
Steady rockin all night long
And we begin to rock steady
Rockin till the break of dawn

You looked at me to my surprise
You were too anticipating
I should have known — It was in your eyes
That you were gettin tired of waiting
You wanted me so much — But I didnt get it
How could a brotha be so blind?
I started to give up — But love wouldnt let it
Then you walked into my life

chorus

You wanted me so much — But I didnt get it
How could a brotha be so blind?
I started to give up — But love wouldnt let it
And you walked into my life
- the whispers, rock steady

recommend…

(paul)
Say say say
What you want
But don’t play games
With my affection
Take take take
What you need
But don’t leave me
With no direction

(michael)
All alone
I sit home by the phone
Waiting for you, baby
Through the years
How can you stand to hear
My pleading for ya dear
You know I’m cryin
Oo oo oo oo oo

(paul)
(now) go go go
Where you want
But don’t leave me
Here forever
You you you stay away
So long girl, I see ya never

(michael)
What can I do, girl
To get through to you
Cause I love ya baby
Standing here
Baptized in all my tears
Baby through the years
Ya know I’m cryin
Oo oo oo oo oo

You never ever worry
And ya never shed a tear
You’re sayin that my love ain’t real
Just look at my fac these tears ain’t dryin’

You you you
Can never say
That I’m not the one
Who really loves you
I pray pray pray, everyday
That you’ll see things
Girl like I do

What can I do, girl
To get through to you
Cause I love you baby
Standing here
Baptized in all my tears
Baby through the years
Ya know I’m crying

Say say say…

- michael jackson & paul mccartney, say, say say

rock…

The drinking dens are spilling out
There’s staggering in the square
There’s lads and lasses falling about
And a crackling in the air
Down around the dungeon doors
The shelters and the queues
Everybody’s looking for
Somebody’s arms to fall into
That’s what it is
It’s what it is now

There’s frost on the graves and the monuments
But the taverns are warm in town
People curse the government
And shovel hot food down
Lights are out in the city hall
The castle and the keep
The moon shines down upon it all
The legless and asleep

And it’s cold on the tollgate
With the wagons creeping through
Cold on the tollgate
God knows what I could do with you
That’s what it is
It’s what it is now

The garrison sleeps in the citadel
With the ghosts and the ancient stones

High up on the parapet
A Scottish piper stands alone
And high on the wind
The highland drums begin to roll
And something from the past just comes
And stares into my soul

And it’s cold on the tollgate
With the Caladonia blues
Cold on the tollgate
God knows what I could do with you
That’s what it is
It’s what it is now
What it is
It’s what it is now

There’s a chink of light, there’s a burning wick
There’s a lantern in the tower
Wee Willie Winkie with a candlestick
Still writing songs in the wee wee hours
On Charlotte Street I take
A walking stick from my hotel
The ghost of Dirty Dick
Is still in search of Little Nell
That’s what it is
It’s what it is now
It’s what it is
What it is now

- mark knopfler, what it is

i’m not a religious person, more on the spiritual side of things and today has been a great day, in  fact this entire week has been good. so join me in rejoicing  for the good days:

the days spent with friends

the days spent outside with blue skies overhead

the days spent working and accomplishing much

the days when we feel love

the days when our  joy is found

the days when we know we are not alone

the days when we feel complete

OH HAPPY DAY!

In June I will be attending and committing 100% to Bonnaroo. I went the second year, 2003, but stayed for only 7-8 hours before I became disgusted by the scene, got in my car, and drove the 45 mins home. Luckily, I grew up not far from Manchester, but strangely enough Bonnaroo has never been very alluring to me. I dislike feeling as if Im a cow in a heard. I dislike being in direct sunlight for long periods of time with no real shade to escape under. But I do like music, so I am giving it a go, again. Mainly because it is my husband’s birthday and Phish is playing. I just “created” by own music schedule for the weekend and the thing I am most excited about is MGMT late, late night on Saturday.

My Schedule:

Friday– gomez, animal collective, grizzly bear, al green, tv on the radio, toubab krewe, beastie boys, david byrne, phoenix, phish, girl talk and pretty lights

Saturday– elvis perkins, heartless bastards, allen toussiant, grace potter, booker t & theDBTS, jimmy fallon, gov’t mule, of montreal, wilco, and mgmt

Sunday– erykah badu, andrew bir, band of horses, phish

hopefully, ill survive the hot sun, crowds of people, and dance parties.

dwell:

1. To live as a resident; reside.

2. To exist in a given place or state: dwell in joy.

3.
a. To fasten one’s attention: kept dwelling on what went wrong.
b. To speak or write at length; expatiate: dwelt on the need to trim the budget.
31
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
—  Siddhartha Buddha

“Do not dwell on that which you cannot change.”
– David Arnott

“Do not dwell too long on your bad moments.”

“Forget the former things; do no dwell on the past.”
Isaiah 43:18

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