i am overwhelmed by the constant rush of emotions, thoughts and then exhaustion over the simple fact that this precious thing that has been growing inside of me for 35 weeks and 2 days could come any day now and very well just might. recently i’ve been informed of two pieces of news which have me bewildered. my iron is very low, in fact so low that if i don’t raise it to an 11 by the time the baby comes i will have to do the thing i dread the most… have the baby in a hospital. why?… im anemic AND a picky eater… a great combo for someone in my situation. secondly, i am, apparently, showing signs of early labor and the cause… stress. the combination of the two makes for a great situation. i have to raise my iron and possibly have a very short time to do so. i am now on a high iron diet which consists of 4 tablespoons of molasses a day and spinach. did i mention im a picky eater and can’t stand spinach? well too bad says my husband, too bad. so tonight i will mix some spinach in with my caesar salad, being sure to use too much caesar dressing so as to cover up any hints of spinach taste. after the salad i will enjoy not 1 but 2 glasses of hot tea with molasses. after 2 weeks of molasses and tea i have finally found a tea with a strong enough taste to overpower the molasses taste. thank you black cherry zinger and thank you again for being caffeine free. the hot tea does make my stress level go down, but not as much as a midday nap would, unfortunately i take what i can get. people ask, why is your stress level high? well not only do i feel as if my belly could bust open at any moment, but i own my own business. my midwife keeps asking me, “cant you get away for a 1-2 hours mid day and take a nap,” no, i don’t have the luxury. it takes 3 people to keep things running smoothly and when 1 person isnt pulling their own weight and doing their part, then things go hay wire. so i have started listening to soft, calming music (think cat power, joni mitchell, and sounds from nature) at my desk and trying to remain calm when things miss their deadlines. its a constant battle, but i feel like i am somewhat making progress, but then other things begin to enter my brain and i feel as if there just isnt enough time to do all there is left to do.
the nursery is still a guest room, well, perhaps storage room would be a better name. i spent sunday organizing things into corners of the room. some things are to go to storage, others are trash, a few to craigslist and then theres the baby corner. its filled with boxes of gifts not yet assembled or unpacked, clothes still with tags, and an assortment of blankets, toys, and knick knacks which will decorate the room. the crib should arrive any day now and it will have to be assembled. i wish i was i dream of jeanie and could pop my arms and eyes and the room would be painted and set up. the thing im looking forward to the most is hanging all the little clothes on tiny little hangers and folding all the little blankets and non-hanging things and putting them away on little shelves and into adorable little baskets. the feeling of accomplishment when that happens might just be so euphoric it sends me into labor. i just pray the little ones doesnt come until the its room is finished. i will certainly feel like a terrible mother if that should happen.
here are some nurseries i LOVE:
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-no-grey-skies-for-mallory-gray-097144
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/mini-tour-chloes-restful-vintage-space-095353
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/mini-nursery-tour-charley-maes-modern-eclectic-095040
(not quite a nursery, but adorable girls room) http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-ashley-089192
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-mias-alluring-modern-loft-088638
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-kenzies-084661
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/my-room-lila-sage-san-francisco-082953
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/nursery-tours/nursery-tour-tessa-089859
we have gotten into the routine of playing music into the the baby belly. little ones reacts and kicks extra hard during paul simon, bob marley, and coltrane. i played a lot of pink floyd in the beginning, but not so much recently. we havent gotten much of a reaction to creedence or radiohead. i want to get some crosby stills and nash on the ipod and see what he/she thinks of them.
im looking forward to taking the baby on some adventures. ive always wanted to travel for 1 year without a home base. just living in an rv or vw bus or something similar and just taking life in with no obligations other than to observe and learn and grow daily. i think it will be all the more enjoyable to do so with a little one in tow, discovering for the first time all of life’s wonders.
